Life certainly changed whilst I was away.
Take games as an example,they now have
lady Bishop chess sets and the Castles must
be fitted with disabled toilets. The pawns have
formed a union and the knights daren't jump without
permission from air traffic control. On top of all that, the
Queen isn't speaking to the King because he gave away his
kingdom for a horse. Things will never be the same on
Walton's mountain.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Sunday, 29 March 2015
Chess.
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Sunday, 15 March 2015
Lavatory Graffiti.
Written on a lavatory wall,"My mother made me a monster."
Underneath in different handwriting,"If I send her the wool can she make me one please?"
Underneath in different handwriting,"If I send her the wool can she make me one please?"
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Privacy.
Isn't it embarrassing when you can't tick the privacy box because you don't have any secrets?
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Friday, 13 March 2015
Portent.
Is a portent a premonition that the camping gear you bought will leak?
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Wild Wolf Publishing.
The Cuthbert series has a new publisher, we are now with Wild Wolf Publishing and there are seven books with the eighth being edited right now. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shakespeares-Cuthbert-Patrick-Barrett-ebook/dp/B00UK6W4H6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1426256432&sr=1-1&keywords=shakespeares+cuthbert
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Wednesday, 11 March 2015
Superheroes.
Superheroes are so much different now. We had the Lone Ranger and the redhead is the Flower-Arranger. Who knew I would be allergic to stems inserted directly into the sinuses?
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Saturday, 14 February 2015
Audio Book release.
Shakespeare's Cuthbert, the first in my comedy series is now out on audio book. Plug yourself in and laugh away.
http://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Fiction/Shakespeares-Cuthbert-Audiobook/B00T6SVMUO/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srImg?qid=1423949513&sr=1-1
http://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Fiction/Shakespeares-Cuthbert-Audiobook/B00T6SVMUO/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srImg?qid=1423949513&sr=1-1
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Wednesday, 11 February 2015
Craters
Are craters on the moon a sign of a-steroid abuse?
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Tazers.
Apparently the police won't be allowed to carry Tazers in some areas. Will this result in a charge of 'Assault Without Battery'?
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
The Sign-Makers.
BEWARE THE SIGN MAKERS.
They send us to fencing departments were there are no
swords.
They offer plant hire and surround us with tractors.
They confuse the cheese-makers with signs saying 'Whey
In' and 'Whey Out.'
They send us to fencing departments were there are no
swords.
They offer plant hire and surround us with tractors.
They confuse the cheese-makers with signs saying 'Whey
In' and 'Whey Out.'
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Friday, 30 January 2015
And even more pushy Editors.
"Great Scott man, is that book on the Arctic ready yet?"
"This chap Darwin, if it's only a theory can't he sort it out before we publish?"
"Well that's great your Royal Highness, yes we can call it The Bible and name it after you but shouldn't you be running the country? Anyway, the cheques in the post Jim."
"This chap Darwin, if it's only a theory can't he sort it out before we publish?"
"Well that's great your Royal Highness, yes we can call it The Bible and name it after you but shouldn't you be running the country? Anyway, the cheques in the post Jim."
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
More pushy Editors.
I don't care if you live in a Bleak House, where the Dickens is the manuscript?"
"Are you kidding Mantel, the Wolf Hallf-ate your manuscript AGAIN?"
"You left the manuscript at Wildfell Hall in an Austen Allegro?"
"Are you kidding Mantel, the Wolf Hallf-ate your manuscript AGAIN?"
"You left the manuscript at Wildfell Hall in an Austen Allegro?"
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Thursday, 22 January 2015
Unicorns.
Sorry to burst the bubble of a myth but unicorns died out after one of them said, "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Tuesday, 20 January 2015
Least likely
At school I was voted the 'least likely to succeed' and yet I love trail mix.
http://mybook.to/CuthbertSledgehammerToCrackANut
http://mybook.to/CuthbertSledgehammerToCrackANut
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Selfie-stick.
I bought a selfie-stick but didn't read the instructions. Anyone know a good ointment?
http://mybook.to/CuthbertSledgehammerToCrackANut
http://mybook.to/CuthbertSledgehammerToCrackANut
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Monday, 19 January 2015
It occurs to me that humans are stupid, if we built our floors higher up we wouldn't have to bend so far to pick something up.
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
The redhead is getting sarcastic, when I pointed out that as her husband, carer and advisor in all the things she doesn't already know she must think that I'm a saint.
Turning those green eyes in my direction she purred, "You're certainly a relic mate."
Turning those green eyes in my direction she purred, "You're certainly a relic mate."
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Hah! just had a message from someone who missed his
train stop because he was reading 'Sledgehammer to Crack
a Nut'. Late for work but laughing all the way.
Are you a fan of fantasy war games or comedy? See what
happens when they collide.
http://mybook.to/CuthbertSledgehammerToCrackANut
train stop because he was reading 'Sledgehammer to Crack
a Nut'. Late for work but laughing all the way.
Are you a fan of fantasy war games or comedy? See what
happens when they collide.
http://mybook.to/CuthbertSledgehammerToCrackANut
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Thursday, 23 October 2014
Self-sufficiency
The redhead is ill and so I am looking after myself. It was amazing, she managed to stand behind me for long enough to steal the recipe for my corned-beef sandwich.
Later, I tried to make a meat pie in the microwave but the pastry was disappointingly hard. Now I have to help the lad next door look for his tortoise (I've got a bad feeling about this).
Later, I tried to make a meat pie in the microwave but the pastry was disappointingly hard. Now I have to help the lad next door look for his tortoise (I've got a bad feeling about this).
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Saturday, 11 October 2014
Parcels
I need to make some parcels today and I fancy listening to music. Should I use rapping paper?
I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)