CUTHBERT SERIES

Sunday, 29 March 2015

Chess.

Life certainly changed whilst I was away.

Take games as an example,they now have

lady Bishop chess sets and the Castles must

be fitted with disabled toilets. The pawns have

formed a union and the knights daren't jump without

permission from air traffic control. On top of all that, the

Queen isn't speaking to the King because he gave away his

kingdom for a horse. Things will never be the same on

Walton's mountain.

http://mybook.to/cuthbertnurse

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Sunday, 15 March 2015

Lavatory Graffiti.

Written on a lavatory wall,"My mother made me a monster."
Underneath in different handwriting,"If I send her the wool can she make me one please?"

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Privacy.

Isn't it embarrassing when you can't tick the privacy box because you don't have any secrets?

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Friday, 13 March 2015

Portent.

Is a portent a premonition that the camping gear you bought will leak?

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Wild Wolf Publishing.

The Cuthbert series has a new publisher, we are now with Wild Wolf Publishing and there are seven books with the eighth being edited right now. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Shakespeares-Cuthbert-Patrick-Barrett-ebook/dp/B00UK6W4H6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1426256432&sr=1-1&keywords=shakespeares+cuthbert

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Superheroes.

Superheroes are so much different now. We had the Lone Ranger and the redhead is the Flower-Arranger. Who knew I would be allergic to stems inserted directly into the sinuses?

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Doorstep shock.

A friend returned a set of bolt-croppers he had borrowed. I nearly had a fit when I opened the door, I thought the redhead had sent for the Vet.

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Audio Book release.

Shakespeare's Cuthbert, the first in my comedy series is now out on audio book. Plug yourself in and laugh away.
http://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Fiction/Shakespeares-Cuthbert-Audiobook/B00T6SVMUO/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srImg?qid=1423949513&sr=1-1

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Craters

Are craters on the moon a sign of a-steroid abuse?

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Tazers.

Apparently the police won't be allowed to carry Tazers in some areas. Will this result in a charge of 'Assault Without Battery'?

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

The Sign-Makers.

BEWARE THE SIGN MAKERS.

They send us to fencing departments were there are no

swords.

They offer plant hire and surround us with tractors.

They confuse the cheese-makers with signs saying 'Whey

In' and 'Whey Out.'

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Friday, 30 January 2015

And even more pushy Editors.

"Great Scott man, is that book on the Arctic ready yet?"

"This chap Darwin, if it's only a theory can't he sort it out before we publish?"

"Well that's great your Royal Highness, yes we can call it The Bible and name it after you but shouldn't you be running the country? Anyway, the cheques in the post Jim."

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

More pushy Editors.

I don't care if you live in a Bleak House, where the Dickens is the manuscript?"

"Are you kidding Mantel, the Wolf Hallf-ate your manuscript AGAIN?"

"You left the manuscript at Wildfell Hall in an Austen Allegro?"

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Pushy Editors over the ages.

"Fleming hell Ian, you're late again. Just write the book, don't Bond with the character."

"I want that fable on my desk Aesop!"

"Oh great Gatsby, they'll think that's the name of the author."

"Yeah, yeah Melville, you obviously had a whale of a time writing it but where's the book?"

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Thursday, 22 January 2015

Dishwasher service.

Well, this was embarrassing, a chap came today to service the dishwasher. He weighed me, took my temperature and checked my pulse. The hand-cream was nice though.

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Putin on the Ritz.

I thought this was hilarious,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3z841UJiVk

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Unicorns.

Sorry to burst the bubble of a myth but unicorns died out after one of them said, "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Least likely

At school I was voted the 'least likely to succeed' and yet I love trail mix.

http://mybook.to/CuthbertSledgehammerToCrackANut

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Selfie-stick.

I bought a selfie-stick but didn't read the instructions. Anyone know a good ointment?

http://mybook.to/CuthbertSledgehammerToCrackANut

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

Monday, 19 January 2015

It occurs to me that humans are stupid, if we built our floors higher up we wouldn't have to bend so far to pick something up.

I am an ex-miner who has written the CUTHBERT SERIES of comedy books. I am hoping to provide my readers with escapism from the stresses and strains of everyday life and involve them in a timeless fictional Valley with larger than life characters which are developed throughout the books. Each book has its own theme and they can be read as part of the series or as stand-alone books.

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